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Let me say first, I am not a prude. I’ve always been fascinated by sex and rarely find it disturbing. While I’m pretty traditional when it comes to getting it on, save for a little butt-smacking and hair-pulling, I understand how different things can turn different people on. I've met porn performers in Los Angeles. I once went to an underground S&M party with a guy friend.
In other words, it takes a lot to shock me when it comes to anything related to sex.
But then, oh then, I took a trip to a store called Romantix, a 24-hour sex emporium in Los Angeles, and all of that changed. It wasn’t my first trip to the store, but it was the first time I really explored the goods. And as a result, I realized how distinctly not female-friendly such stores can be.
I’m not saying all sex shops are anti-women, but this was the least sexy, most unfriendly store on earth. And I'm at a loss for why anyone would think a female-repelling business strategy would be a good one. After all, 44% of women between the ages of 18 and 60 have used sex toys.
But I'm not here to bash. I'm here to help. And so, here are three pieces of advice for sex shop owners of the world, so they can make their stores a little more friendly to sex-toy-buying women like me.
Ditch "'Adult Arcades"
What, you ask, is an "adult arcade"? Think balls—but not pin balls. For $6, you can “preview” (their words, not mine) a special sexy-time movie. Perhaps Romantix shoppers don’t know there’s this thing called the Internet, where a veritable lifetime's worth of free porn is available 24/7, in the privacy of their own home. Doing further research, I learned that some sex shop arcades have so-called "glory holes" for oral sex (I probably should have realized oral sex happened in these arcades on my own, but I swear I didn’t). Again, why? If you want sex on demand, there are about 20 apps for that.
I mean, I'm all for people getting off, but must it be happening 10 feet away from me?
Also, I should add that the person in charge of cleaning the arcade may hands down (pun intended) have the worst job ever.
Just Say No To Porn Star Sex Dolls
There was a sex doll in just about every corner of Romantix, and while there's a legitimate movement to embrace sex-positive dolls, many of these were overtly misogynistic. Take, for instance, the life-size likenesses of certain porn stars, inviting men to "do it" with women they've grown attached to via adult videos. It takes the objectification inherent to so much porn a step further, by literally turning the women into objects. And as a woman, that just doesn't sit right with me.
Hire Better Staff
I had a big issue with the security guard, who was not only creepy, but made me feel judged for being a woman shopping in the store. The guy looked like “Pornstache” from Orange Is The New Black, but without the sex appeal of the actor who plays him, Pablo Schreiber. More importantly, he didn't make me feel secure, instead following me around and making me outright uncomfortable.
To the store's credit, there were both male and female staff working there, but they didn’t seem all that knowledgeable when I asked them a few questions. I wanted a “fairy sexmother” of sorts, with a Bettie Paige haircut, jeans, a corset and tattoos, to take me under her wing, show me some tools for great sex, and get me really excited.
Instead, I got “Pornstache” creeping about.
Overall, the store was emotionally cold, sexually uncharged and downright unfriendly to women. Next time I want to buy something for the bedroom, I’ll go online . . . or spring for something I can’t afford at Kiki De Montparnasse.
